Mightier Acorns

Edna Lyle Frey was the first child born to Emil and Emily Frey after they married in 1893. A sister, Bessie, was born when Edna was two years old. Blanche was born the year after that, followed a year later by Marjorie. At the end of 1900, Blanche died, most likely due to one of the childhood illnesses that ravaged so many families before the advent of antibiotics and vaccination.

Emil and Emily had two more daughters, Grace (1902) and Theresa (1908), and for a few years, at least, they seemed to be happy and healthy.

Emil worked as a grocer and (according to a Frey family tradition) as a Borden’s milk deliveryman. The family was able to travel from Newark to visit Emily’s family in Dansville, New York, rather frequently. In 1900, the Frey family was counted twice, a week apart: first in Dansville, in the household of Emily’s grandmother, Susan Opp, and again after they returned to Newark.

By 1910, Emily’s father, Jacob Opp, was living with the Freys. But in 1913, death arrived again. First, in March, Emily died; then Jacob succumbed to pneumonia a few months later. Then in 1914, Emil’s mother, Elizabeth, died from what they called “Bright’s Disease,” at age 86.

Edna and Bessie Take Charge

When Emily died, Theresa was barely five years old. Edna and Bessie, the two oldest girls, were 18 and 16, and began working to help support the family. Emil’s mental health deteriorated, and by 1920, he was an inmate in the Essex County Hospital Center (also called Overbrook Hospital) in Cedar Grove.

Edna married Alfred Tuttle in 1917, and by then, Bessie was old enough to be the head of the household for the younger sisters. None of this could have been easy, especially with the events of the First World War unfolding, but the Frey sisters took care of each other and stayed together through the 1920s.

The Growing Frey Family

Obviously, with five daughters, the grandchildren they would have would not carry the Frey surname. But growing up under the trying circumstances of their childhood impressed a certain identity on the sisters.

Edna Tuttle, of course, had a daughter, Lyle, in 1920, and another, my Grandma Alberta, in 1925. Bessie, the second eldest, married Albert Hosmer in 1920, and they had their first daughter in 1923. Grace married Jack Remington in about 1926, and their first son was born in 1927.

Marjorie took a slightly different path and left home to attend college. She graduated with a Bachelor of Arts from Marysville College in Knoxville, Tennessee, in 1928. That is where she met a classmate, Samuel Wayne Hembree, whom she married in 1929. Sam was an assistant principal at a school in Tennessee, but the couple soon returned to New Jersey.

What happened next is not clear – I don’t have records, and I’ve had to fill in the blanks. But I think the order of events was roughly as follows: Sam and Marjorie had a son together in New Jersey in 1931. Then Marjorie died – I don’t know how or exactly when – and in 1935, Sam married her sister, Theresa. Sam and Theresa had children of their own, as well.

And in February 1936, after spending more than fifteen years in the state hospital, Emil Frey died. We’ll talk more about Emil in the future, but just consider how much personal loss and tragedy he saw in his lifetime, and consider what that meant to his children.

Remembering Grandma Edna

I remember that my mother’s family visited from New Jersey in the early 1980s. Details, of course, are murky. I didn’t know who was who, and struggled to understand how we were related. I grasped that Ray Tuttle was Mom’s cousin and that he was Aunt Lyle’s son, but I’m not 100% certain I recall everyone who visited. I’m pretty sure Aunt Lyle and Uncle Gus were there, and Ray and Gwen; I’m sure I remember spending time with Verna and Mike O’Neill (Verna being Ray’s sister), and their sons, Mike and Daniel.

I’m less certain that Grandma Edna came to visit on that trip, but I know that our family made a trip to New Jersey in 1984, and I recall seeing her then. Of course, I was 12, and memories of the flight on an airplane, and the crab claw I saved from the in-flight meal are easier to access than the details I wish I could remember. I think I remember that Gus and Lyle took us all out to dinner at a German restaurant, because Mom was excited about the “Oompah band” that played, and I was scandalized when I saw Uncle Gus order a beer.

But this is why family historians have to work so hard to do what we do. We must separate fact from fiction, while also honoring our unreliable memories. My memories of meeting Grandma Edna may be hazy, but thanks to the efforts of my mom and my sister, I have at least this one solid piece of evidence that I can use to reclaim them. One photograph of a lady who lived through a lifetime of loss during her early years, but still remained cheerful and full of love.

I had no knowledge of any of this information about her parents and siblings when this photo was taken – but now it gives me a link to that past that I can share with the future.

Edna was the youngest of my eight great-grandparents, and the last to leave us. She died in February 1985, at 89 years of age.